Struggles

My dad often jokes with my brother and me that we're spoiled...that he and mom weren't hard enough on us. I used to laugh it off and say, "no, you guys were tough enough." But now I'm wondering if it's true...if I am spoiled.

I don't know what it's like to REALLY struggle, and I think that's why, at 28, when I get envious of someone's situation or life or whatever, I get REALLY REALLY envious of it, so much so that it brings me down. Also, stress (be it from work, life, etc) makes me pick myself/my life apart.

I also get bogged down in what I don't have, instead of focusing on what I DO have. I think part of this is because I didn't have to struggle...and it wasn't until I was in my twenties, did life have struggles.

I didn't HAVE to work hard at school, I was bright, so it came easily. While my parents weren't rich, I didn't have to seriously make do with things, the way other kids might have. There was always money for new clothes and shoes. Might not been top of the line or what I wanted, but it was what we needed and we didn't ever go without.

In college, I didn't have to work, the way most of my friends did. My parents didn't send me money when I needed it; I worked over the summers, but that was enough to get me through the school year. They paid for the bill from the college, I paid for the rest. I never had stress over how I'd buy my books for the semester, or if I could afford a train ticket home for Christmas break. My grandfather bought me my first "real" car. My parents were always there for me, not rushing in to rescue me, but the help was always offered. When I decided to leave a bad job, and take a better one that paid much much less, my parents invited me over for dinner when I didn't have enough money to buy real food. I know, that's what parents are supposed to do, but only now, as an adult, do I realize that not everyone has that. And even if their parents would invite them over for dinner, they may not live in the same city or state.

So, I think the fact that I've had a "cushy" life, relatively speaking, is why I have such a hard time as an adult with certain aspects of the way things are. It could be better, sure, and it could be worse. I could have NO clue about how to cope; while it might seem as though some days I'm a baby or immature or just don't want to work hard, there is some hope. Sometimes when I'm having a bad day, where I'm stressed out and think all is lost, people get upset with me. To them, my problems seem trivial, or can be easily solved. I think the fact that these people have had to struggle more, work harder, to get where they are, is why they grow impatient with me. No one should HAVE to struggle, this is something we can all agree on. And I should not feel badly that I had parents who could help, and who wanted to help. I should also not feel badly for having a rough time with things now...it's just the way things are. What I need to do now is learn how not to let things bother me, and how to grow and learn from my struggles.