house and something else

We got the commitment letter from the bank, got a REALLY good interest rate (below 5%) and no points...

There's something else that's been going on and I haven't mentioned it. I think it's because I've been so tied up with the house. I have talked about it before, just not in a long time.

I finally did it. I lost weight and kept it off. I stayed ON the wagon. I lost about 20 lbs in 3 months! I'm down one size (pants & shirts). I have much more to go (probably like 80 more lbs--yes, I'm a bigger lady), but this was a huge start for me.

How did I do it? You're probably wondering, and so have a lot of people.

Nothing magic. No pills, no drinks, no surgeries.

I counted calories and did a little exercise (which has since tapered off to nothing). I started by writing down what I was eating, and figuring out how many calories was in each food item. Lots of measuring, looking things up online or in this little calorie booklet I had. I also had the assistance of a food scale that also contained caloric information. I still ate almost whatever I wanted, I just measured out my portions and recorded it. I tried to keep my caloric intake to between 1500 and 1800 calories.

My doctor is thrilled and so am I! Especially with the smaller pair of jeans I recently treated myself with!

more health news

The other day, DH and I almost had a little scare. No, not THAT kind. ;-) But related.

I almost had to stop taking the pill.

Please, no flames. DH and I are soooo not ready to be parents (for many reasons) so we think that's doing the "right" thing...and not leaving things up to chance. Because, chances are (haha) we'd be even more screwed than we are right now, and that's not fair to a helpless, delicate little baby. (although I did see a HS classmate's new baby's pics on facebook tonight and wanted to CRY, he was so beautiful)

ANYWHOO.

My blood pressure was being monitored for about 6 weeks now and I had made some SERIOUS changes to my diet. My Dr. had called me a few days ago and wasn't 100% pleased with how my BP was registering (although it was going down) and was suggesting that I go off of the pill...so of course, I freaked. DH freaked.

It was like, here I am, doing the right thing...I weaned off of the meds for depression/anxiety (and am doing REALLY well, btw, surprisingly), I went back on the food plan I was supposed to be following...and it wasn't enough.

So DH and I looked at what I was doing and what I still could be doing. I started drinking a small glass of red wine every night. I cut back on the caffeine. I planned to start back at the gym, every other day, to do some cardio...

Fortunately, when I called the Dr. to follow up on the voice mail she'd left me the other day, the receptionist asked me if I wanted to come in today, instead of in a few weeks.

I went this morning, very nervous, expecting her to tell me to get off the pill RIGHT NOW.

Well. Looks like my hard work is starting to pay off.

I'm down 8lbs by her scale (I'm averaging about a pound a week) and my BP was VERY good, even sitting right there in her office. She was so happy to hear what I had done (and my new plans after her phone call) and she's so pleased with my progress. I can stay on the pill and, I even got a HUG at the end of the appointment!

I have never been hugged by a doctor before. It's SO nice to have a human touch in the medical field. She truly cares about my well-being.

Now, to lose the rest of the weight...but I'll keep on keepin' on. That's why I started going back to the gym. Plus, it'll help me all-around.

health stuff

Things are going OK in that area...but not 100% yet. On a positive note, my changed eating habits have shown some results in the weight department. My wedding band/engagement ring are looser, and my stomach is smaller. DH has even noticed.

So I'm making some kind of progress...gotta keep up the good work.

Husbands!

My therapist and I had a chat about my eating/weight stuff the other night, and we're working on something, together.

However, I just told DH about this and I know he's skeptical about me succeeding (because I'm never consistent) and I swear, I think he was hurt or put-out or something.

I'm sorry, but this time, it's about ME. Actually, wait, I'm NOT sorry. Don't sulk because I can't eat pasta or rice or whatever. Think of what I CAN eat, that's what I'm doing. And it's not like we ever have JUST rice or JUST pasta for dinner, we always have veggies and a protein. I don't get what his problem was. You'd swear I told him that he wasn't allowed to fish anymore or that Stan Lee died. He actually told me he needed to be alone for a bit.

I'm trying to understand where he's coming from, without making it my problem. I know he loves to cook, and he's been doing a lot of experimentation now that he's home all day. That's great. And I'm sure me saying that I am going back on my doctor's plan (before I have a serious health issue), is like "oh crap, now all of my work is for nothing" and "Ha, lets see how long THIS lasts." But don't get like this.

Yeah, I don't like it either, but it's not JUST for weight loss, it's for health in general, too. I even asked him, "OK so what if I was diabetic for real and had to change things?" He didn't really answer. At least we didn't fight, and it was all very calm...

Ehh, maybe he just needs to be a pouty boy about it for a bit. *shaking my head*

I'm having a hard time...

keeping up with this thing! It's not that I don't want to write, or don't care to write, it's just, graaaah, how do you find enough hours in the day to do everything!?

Work is still going super well. Had lunch w/ Bossman yesterday to celebrate my raise. It feels SO good to have your work and what you do NOT go unnoticed. A year ago, things here were sooooooo different, as some of you may recall. I got out of Siberia and now there is talk of me moving on even farther upward. Fabulous!

DH has a meeting about a job tomorrow. He applied the "old fashioned" way, with a cover letter, resume and then he had to include this written statement thing about why he wants to work in the field that the job falls under. OK, fine. I proofed it for him, it was really good. He got a letter in the mail last week about a meeting to do a problem-solving test (very important in his field) and to write another statement. This is progress! He's not 100% thrilled with this job (it's for the federal gov't, he'd rather work for the state gov't) but it's SOMETHING. He's got about 20 applications out there right now, for mostly state jobs, but some federal ones too.

I've been writing down everything that I've been eating, and so far, so good. Haven't seen any weight loss yet, but the fact that I'm writing is good because I'm managing to stay in control of what I put in my mouth. Been limiting the sugar and starches that enter my mouth as well.

That's my biggest downfall and what also helps the weight come off easiest, for me. I know some people are really anti-low-carb diets, but for me, carbs are my trigger (what gets me to overeat) and when I eliminate them almost completely, I manage to lose a lot of weight. With my PCOS and blood sugar issues, it's a healthy way for ME to treat MY body. It's NOT for everyone. And don't worry, I'm not subsisting on steak and eggs. I eat PLENTY of veggies and dairy and some fruit.

This blog is starting to get into a same old, same old pattern, so I'd better think of some interesting topics to come up with...and SOON!

So...WTF?

WTF. Grrr, I need to get to the gym more. I went to the doctor today, for just a normal endocrinologist check up. Weight is up again. 5 lbs since my last appointment in January.

I say it again. W T F ????

I've always been a bigger person, even when I was a little kid. No matter what I ate, what exercises I did, I was always chubby, fat, bigger, etc. There's never been a time where I was successful with long term weight loss.

What I don't get is why I still continue to gain weight, even when I'm really not eating THAT much differently than usual. I don't know...maybe it's my age? They do say things slow down the older you get. Ugh, how irritating. I also have PCOS which makes it harder for my body to shed weight, but there are women out there who've managed to lose weight while battling PCOS. I don't know what to do anymore.

Maybe I really AM eating differently and just didn't think so? I dunno. There are some days where I "overindulge" and that's probably where the weight gain is coming from.

My doctor is worried, I'm worried. Everyone is worried. Part of it is mental/psychological, and part of it is just "me." I just wish it was like a switch, and I could shut it off and lose the weight permanently.

I am going to end this update now because it just gets me upset.