2 years

Happy anniversary to me and DH. It's been only 2 years, but we are looking forward to many many more years together.

No big plans tonight--he's working late and I'm going grocery shopping after work. We did go out to a nice dinner on Sunday afternoon...and we're getting a BIG present in about a month. The house ;-)

House hunting, part "I don't know"

Still house hunting. We've been out more than twice now, but I can't tell you how many times. I lost count. It's still fun, but we really want to find THE home.

We've realized that raised ranches don't really fit us or our lifestyles and we're much better off with a colonial. We saw one that we LOVED but there are some cosmetic issues that we are concerned with so S, our Realtor, is investigating and asking lots of questions of the listing agent.

When I say "cosmetic issues," please don't think that I'm being a Diva and saying things like "ewww, I hate that shade of pink on the walls, I can't live here!" but "is that spackle job hiding water damage?" and "why is there so much blown-in insulation in the attic?" We want to make sure we aren't buying a lemon. Nasty pink walls can be painted. Serious damage or a lack of good insulation...harder and more expensive to fix.

So, no real updates...not yet...

Otherwise, things are good, just BUSY. Going out once or twice a week to look at houses can mess with your schedule and routine just a bit. DH is settling in nicely with his job--they give new hires TONS of training. My work is busy too.

Is this a preview of things to come?

Today is DH's first day of work and I am so nervous. I know everything will be OK, and it's more anticipation and excitement for him, but jeez, you'd think I had just sent my kid off to a new school! Is this how I'll be someday when I DO send my child off on the first day? LOL

It's a new adventure, and a positive one for us, so I need to just relax, and remember that I'll hear alllll about it when I get home tonight. (After I return his pants that we bought in the wrong size, of course, lol)

In other news, the Realtor has already sent us some prospective houses to look at. I got SO excited last night, and squealed. I am NOT a squealer.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow DH and I are taking a huge step in our lives together. We are choosing to do something that could ultimately change our lives forever. In a good way. In a very expensive way.

Wanna guess? I am sure people have two things on their minds. lol







We are meeting with a Realtor about starting the house hunt!!!! I'm kinda nervous about this, and a little scared, but mostly very excited. DH is like a kid at Christmas, but to be fair, he has been pretty trapped here for a year and a half, while I've gone out to work every day. If I were in his shoes, I'd feel similarly b/c when you rent a tiny condo, you can't do much but clean it.

Anyway, we haven't done anything re: mortgage and all of that stuff yet, we're just meeting with this woman (who has worked for my dad and grandfather, as well as a HS friend of mine) to see if we like her, what she suggests, etc. Our lease is up at the end of November, and while our landlord would probably do a month-to-month with us, we live in New England and trying to do a home inspection with snow on the ground is not going to fly. So we have to act fairly quickly.

I just hope all will work out for the best.

Busy as a little bee...

Yes, I am busy. School is over very shortly, and I have two mini-projects, a big group project (and one member is MIA, lovely!) and the regular weekly reading/responding assignment, all due within a day of each other. Yikes!

I'm also helping DH get ready for his new job. Sunday we went clothes shopping and he got a bunch of new stuff. Today was shoe shopping, and it went very smoothly. He's not an apparel shopper at ALL, but all went well ;-)

I took yesterday and today off from work to spend time with DH. Ever since he got the new job, he's been really itchy about getting the heck out of this rental, and into our own place. I would love that too, but I'm not as itchy...then again, I haven't spent as much time here as he has. Yesterday we spent the majority of the day driving around our state, looking at the different towns that would be halfway (or thereabouts) between my job and his. Another benefit of moving would be that this general location would be an easy distance to other major cities, for future job prospects.

We are going to talk to a Realtor who has worked closely with my family and is family friends with one of my friends...and start the stuff with the bank, and then really get out there and hunt. Our lease is up at the end of November, so the timing is pretty good. I'm really glad I decided to take the fall off from school now! I'd much rather be unpacking and setting up a new home instead of doing homework and going to class! Although I do need to study for and take the GRE--bought a book today at Borders, so no excuses now.

Socially speaking, I've been busier than normal. It seems like everyone is getting married. I just got an invite for my 3rd shower this summer (had one in June, have one next weekend, and now one at the end of August). I have a wedding to go to in August, and probably one in September. I remember hearing people talk about the year of the wedding--when everyone you know is getting married, and I think this one is it! Two coworkers and a friend from college.

Just when you thought things were operating at a dull roar...now everything's waking up, almost like a reverse of the seasons...

Many thanks...

to those who saw my good news on here and sent me comments. Thanks for listening and commenting and for all of the thoughts and prayers and contacts that were sent over these past 16+ months...

It's been a long and rough road, but we're finally on our way.

For the deets:

DH will be a case manager for an alternative incarceration center about 45 mins away from us (in the opposite direction from my job, of course ). His last job was at an AIC, but this is a higher position. This job has more pre-trial clients, whereas his last company was with post-trial/post-prison clients, so there's more hope when they are pre-trial. Sad but true.

A little less money than he was making at his old job, but he's not being picky, and they actually gave him more than the position was being paid b/c of his experience. Still it's a JOB and it's MONEY so we do not care. He starts August 3 and it's biz casual so we have to go shopping, hahahaha. (He haaaates shopping and haaaates wearing biz casual--he's a jeans and T OR a suit and tie guy.)

The schedule is a little tricky, but we knew this before he accepted. He'll be working Tues, Wed, Thurs and Sat from 9-5, and Fri 12-8. Sun and Mon off. But we'll make it work, we've been through much much worse. Now I just have to tell my coworker that he can't go to her wedding, after we've already sent in the RSVP....

We've already decided that Sunday will be our "family" day and that we won't do much but spend time with each other, even if it's just Mass and grocery shopping and hanging around our place. Speaking of "place" we'll be starting the house-hunt around September. So exciting!!!!!

The BEST. NEWS. EVER.

DH GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Great weekend!

I need to have more of these. DH and I decided that we'd try and do all errands/chores during the week after dinner, so that we could relax on the weekends. So nice to just sit around and listen to the birds after a great dinner on the grill tonight. All weekends should be like this, is what DH said earlier...and I agree.

Here's to hoping that we can get on this new "plan" and enjoy more time together, doing fun stuff (or even nothing at all really) instead of running from Target to the grocery store to home doing chores and cleaning. Not fun at all.

unemployment makes us distant

Over the past year and almost-two-months that DH has been laid off, we don't go as many places or talk to as many people anymore.

It's not really the money, since it doesn't cost much to pick up the phone or send an email.

It's the...uncomfortable feelings that come with dealing with well-intentioned family and friends.

The questions.

The things that are left unsaid.

I don't want to deal with the people--their questions, their thoughts. So I don't.

I know I have isolated myself.

Having a long-term unemployment makes me feel very isolated, personally. I don't feel like there's much I can contribute to conversations. I'm not buying a house, I'm not getting a puppy, I'm not getting married, I'm not going on vacation this summer. I don't think many people are doing all of these things, but there are very few things to look forward to right now. I'm just sad a lot of the time. 14 months is a long time to have to deal with something that you want to change, but have no control over.

Additionally, not many people understand how DH and I feel right now. That sounds silly when the unemployment rate is so high, but for the people we know, we're the "oddity." So everyone just smiles and tells us how sorry they are...but no one knows how to help. Can we be helped? Who knows. It's almost patronizing, like we're two little kids who lost their puppy.

I want to look forward to something, but that thing is not guaranteed. Why dare to hope if it might not happen?

What do we do then? I still have a job, yes, but it's hard to enjoy it or feel proud of my work when I know my husband feels so badly about his working situation. I'm working on my masters, but my husband already has his and hasn't brought him anywhere in his career.

Is it really worth it for me to keep doing what I'm doing? I wish someone had an answer for me, to make it easier for me, and for DH, too.

I've got my hand out, here....

and I'm asking for all the thoughts, prayers, good vibes, rain dances, crossed fingers, whatever for my DH.

He's had a bunch of interviews lately, and some phone calls expressing interest in interviewing him (just nailing down dates/times), and even one offer(!)* so we're moving in the right direction, but we're not there JUST yet. This is better than we could have expected, and we'd just like someone to decide on him. Usually people ask for "good stuff" when things are going bad...so I'm changing it up and asking for the "good stuff" to help this awesome streak of luck to continue.

Thanks in advance everyone!


* the offer--it was for a company that sounded good, but when DH inquired about their liability insurance (as he'd be transporting clients in his own car), they got very weird and weren't fully answering his/our questions. We looked into buying supplemental insurance to cover our butts, since our auto insurance company would not cover DH while using his car at work, but that was impossible. When DH asked the HR woman about a certain type of insurance and that our insurance company recommended any employer having this, she got very defensive and said "you really should NOT be calling your insurance company about this stuff." That was enough for us. DH declined the offer. Besides, it wasn't really what he wanted to do (population-wise). The interviews he's had since then have been more along the lines of what he's done and wants to continue doing.

Okay kids...

I know it's been almost 2 months since I've written anything here. My bad.

So what's been going on in the world of GirlWednesday?

1. I started school. Taking my first class towards my masters in library science. Not too bad, but it is kinda boring. Yay for intro classes. I'm trying to figure out the fastest way for me to get this degree done, but not so fast that I have no time for anything else, or get stressed out or something.

2. DH is still unemployed. He's had some interviews over the past two weeks, but either the job is TOO shady (like using his own car and insurance to transport people--YIKES) or the job won't be open for another year...mayyyybe. (Side note: who the heck interviews someone only to tell them that???) We're almost at one year of unemployment.

3. I still have a job, but I've lost 6 coworkers in the past 6 weeks. (Not one per week.) They did a round of layoffs (4 people) in mid-January, and then two more people were cut on Friday. My department was cut in half during the first round. Sheesh. Things are slow--less deadlines, less things being asked of me...I'm scared, but I'm hoping that everything will turn out for the best.

4. Diet and exercise have been...ehhhh. I'm thinking about trying Weight Watchers. I don't know what the heck to do about fitting in my exercise, esp. with school and work, but we'll see. The gym bag is always packed and ready to go...



Things I am looking forward to...

1. Being done with my class and taking another one this summer. Note to self: register already!

2. Starting a garden. I talked with my mom yesterday and I'm going to start one over at my parents' house. They have a huge yard and my mom already has a vegetable garden plowed out, so the soil just needs to be tilled and planted. My mom won't be around much over the summer, as my aunt is having hip replacement surgery (she's not even 50!!!!) and mom will be helping to take care of her.

3. Working better on diet/exercise.

4. I'm also attempting to live simpler, so we'll see how that goes.

Hopefully it won't be another 2 months before you hear from me again! I think blogger is now unblocked at my job ;-)

I'm still alive!

I've probably mentioned this before, but everything at work that's good, is blocked. No facebook, no myspace, no blogger, no message boards (for the most part)...not even food network! Seriously! It's crazy.

At home, I've been busy trying to relax and enjoy my down time and spend time with my husband. Work is always nutty, but I have been trying to dial it down a notch and NOT give it my all. Maybe then they'll see that I wasn't messing around and that I do need help with the work load.

Anyway, today I called in sick because of some issues that DH and I had. Not between us, thank God, this was something to do with the little bastard known as the stock market. See, DH was in a bad accident a few years ago, got a nice settlement from the person who injured him, and this money is in a structured settlement thingy (for lack of a better word, haha) with one of the big companies in the news these days. We were up all night, very upset, freaking out. As he's still unemployed, the monthly checks from this settlement were helping us get by. If that money suddenly disappeared, we'd be in BIG trouble. My salary cannot and would not support two people.

After a frantic call this morning to DH's lawyer, we quickly learned that all would be OK. PHEW! Now, for him to get a job...but that is out of our hands as well. Lots of interviews, no bites. It's upsetting. For him--he feels like a failure, he's bored, he feels like he'll never get anywhere in his career. For me--I want him to be doing something, so he doesn't feel like crap, and I get a bit jealous and resentful b/c he can stay home. For us--he feels like a bad husband, and I just hate being the sole breadwinner and the one who is responsible for everything right now. This has taken a toll on the both of us...and for it to happen during the first year of marriage, it sucks even more.

A lot of people like to weigh in on this, giving me advice. Until you have been there, it's hard to give REALLY sound advice. It's easy to say "oh try XYZ company" or "has he thought about just doing some part time retail job?" The economy sucks, people.

Here are some funny exchanges with people about my DH's job stuff...

Bossman: How's the job search going?
Me: Oh fine, thanks for asking...it's going.
Bossman: (incredulously) You aren't nagging at him?!?!
Me: Uhhh no...I can't make people hire him.
Boss: Oh...wow...well (mutters something)

Are you SERIOUS??? As if me nagging would help him to find a job, or get someone to higher him faster? It doesn't work like that, buddy.

My mom: What would (DH) like for his birthday?
Me: A job.
Mom: No, seriously.
Me: I AM serious. He doesn't need anything else.

C'mon mom, you know me (and him) better than this!


I actually had to tell a friend of mine last week that as much as I appreciated her concern, I didn't want to talk to her about DH's job stuff anymore. It was like every time she contacted me, the first thing she'd ask was "So how's the job search?"

SHUT UP. PLEASE.

Now I know how women who have issues getting pregnant feel when every time they talk to someone, all they want to do is talk babies. It hurts. It's annoying. It makes you angry. It makes you feel guilty, like you have to cover for your husband, so people don't think he's a slacker or lazy. Or unmotivated.

I try not to take people's suggestions/comments *too* personally, but it's hard. My husband is my family and if you say something about him, it hurts me too.

Grrr, I just wish there was a way out of this.

Our microwave is possessed!

The other night, as we sat down for dinner, our microwave turned on. No joke. It looked like someone was pushing the "beverage reheat" button. I got up and pushed the "stop" button. It went back on, doing the same thing...DH and I looked at each other, thinking WTF???? So then I went back to the microwave and opened the door, thinking that maybe it would stop the madness. Nope, the same thing kept going on--the buttons were being pushed by "something." Finally, DH got up and ripped the plug out of the wall.

Now we need a new microwave. This upset me since our microwave is only 6 years old. My parents have had the same one since I was 10 or 12! I guess they don't make things like they used to, lol.

Tomorrow we have to go buy a new one. This should be interesting.

We have cable again!

Well, we always had cable...now we have BETTER cable!!!!

When we first moved in, I had had the service transferred from my old apartment to this place. I had "basic cable" at the old place--up to channel 30, I think? Roughly $13 a month...pretty basic, indeed. The landlords who lived here right before we moved in, had expanded basic, which is up to channel 100 or so.

Silly Comcast must have messed things up b/c for the longest time (like over a year) we had the landlord's cable at our price, haha. Then they came to do some work or something at the poll and we no longer had this sweet deal. Right around the time DH got laid off. So we decided not to get the cable "fixed" and just deal with limited channels.

But DH missed Versus and Food Network, and I missed HGTV and TLC...so we looked at the budget and figured we could afford to get it back. Yesterday I called and the woman at Comcast said that they had a guy out in our area today so we could get it right away.

Sure enough, the man called at 11 am and we are back in business! DH is watching some fishing show, happy as can be.

feeling a bit down

I really want DH to find a job. REALLY. It seems like this is keeping us from moving on with a lot of things. I'm on this newlywed board (NOT THE NEST) and everyone's buying houses or redecorating, or thinking about babies and puppies...and we can't do any of that yet. (For the record--I want to buy a house and maybe get a puppy.)

And he's a bit mad at me because I wasn't "helping" him with tonight's job search stuff...but I thought I was. SOMETIMES MEN NEED TO BE A BIT MORE ARTICULATE ABOUT WHAT THEY WANT!!!! He thought he was telling me how I could help him, yet, he was NOT. And what if he isn't doing the cover letter in the right way?

I think he needs to be more proactive. Just DO IT already. Apply for everything, anything. It's irritating and annoying at times. Financially we are still OK, and maybe he's waiting for a bigger issue to happen...for that to really kick him in the butt? I don't know...

I hate that I need to control everything. It's so annoying. I wish I could be more "live and let live." Maybe someday.

Gotta do what ya gotta do...

DH had an interview with the state. Didn't go that great. He did fine, just not impressed with the position/location.

I am still stuck here until he gets a job...just have to keep on keepin' on. When he gets something and gets settled, then I can have my turn. (DH actually said something about ME taking a hiatus!) But what should I do? I don't know...I'm feeling stuck again in re: to what should I do with my life?

I just had three days off (plus the weekend)...and it was very hard to come back today.

I guess what I need to do is keep work at work, and find things at home to do that are fun. I actually worked on my needlepoint over the days off and got a lot accomplished. I even bought two new projects for the hell of it!

Part of me wants to go back to school for design/decorating. But can you make money?? LOL I don't think so. Ugh, it's annoying...and I'm just rambling right now.

A post that's more marriage/relationship-related.

Since that was sorta the intent of this blog. But if you know me, I get easily distracted and off-topic. Oh, and I like to talk/write. LOL

So DH and I had a talk yesterday re: our time together, how I always seem stressed and on-edge, even in my down time. Work makes me stressed.

I told him that it's mostly b/c I don't have a lot of free time, and that I feel so pressed to do so many things--things I want to do (crafty stuff, reading), things I need to do (going to the gym, errands) and things I have to do (cleaning the litter box).

I'm going to make a list, one in 3 parts, of things that I want to get done (similar to my list on here, of fun stuff), things that we can do together (since we had a big fight a few weeks ago about not doing enough stuff together) and things that HAVE to get done (house crap).

Hopefully this will help me not to feel so stressed out about EVERYTHING. Also, we discussed having a 10 minute "pick up time" every night. Just to organize the house a bit, so we're not doing HUGE jobs on the weekends. Sure, things like vacuuming and dusting can really only be done on the weekends when there's more time, but straightening up the living room and disposing of junk mail instead of letting it pile up on the coffee table(*ahem* DH!) can be done in small pockets of time.

I'll keep ya posted ;-)

Almost a week and no posts...

So I better do one now.

The picture on this entry was taken by yours truly. These are leis that we got in Hawaii at our first hotel. Mine was beautiful and smelled so delicious...but it DIED. DH's came home with us and is sitting on our bookcase. It's made out of a nut. I forgot which one. So yes, we have our honeymoon pics finally and they are in an album and all of that. To those of you whom I love, I'll email you the shutterfly link when I get a free moment.

I'm kinda ehh right now. We're not going to Philly next month--we're going in September, around our anniversary. I'm slightly disappointed, but DH and I didn't talk about where we'd be getting the $$ from (I assumed it would come from his settlement account) so we need some time to save up some more.

I'm still taking the days off next month that I requested--we'll just do some things locally instead. I need a break.

I'm mostly ehh b/c I make a fairly decent salary and DH brings in OK money through his settlement checks (which we're using to boost our income now that he's not working) but it just doesn't seem like enough at times. We're paying our bills (and we have NO debt, so it's like, WTF?) and staying alive, but there's no room for too much fun. I know people have done it on less...maybe it's b/c they were doing it when gas was only $2.50/gal instead of $4.29???? Maybe they put lot of stuff on credit cards, whereas we don't? I do play the "comparison" game at times, which is bad, I know, but it sucks when there are things you want to do but you can't. Anyway.

DH thinks I want too much some times, and maybe I do. I just thought that when you were an "adult" you'd get to do a lot of fun things...especially now that I'm making the most I've ever made before. I think it'll get better when he gets a job, since it'll be more than he gets from his other income, and a LOT more than he gets from unemployment! We can then save, which is something we haven't done since before he got laid off.

I do have good news on the job front--he heard from someone with whom he has connections (in the dept that's a division of state govt.) that they just received all of the resumes that were submitted for the openings, so HOPEFULLY he'll get a call soon re: an interview!!!! Please--say a prayer, cross your fingers, wish on a star, anything.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL OUT!

And here I am blogging, lol. Have no fear, just taking a rest for a sec.

Got up at 7:15, DH and I were at the grocery store by 8:30--after a run to Dunkin Donuts. ;-)

Ran into my MOM at the store, which is not a surprise, we live in the same town. It was just so funny to see her there, and she was shocked that we were up and out so early, lol. She invited us over on Monday for some food :-) Yay.

As an aside--One thing that bugged me though, about seeing my mom, she was like, "so what are your plans this weekend?" I was like, "what do you mean?" She actually thought that maybe we'd have been invited some where. YEAH RIGHT. Hello, woman, you know we have no friends. Maybe I'm not giving her any credit--I guess there could be a chance I might have been invited to a coworker's house or something. It's just kind of annoying when people assume that you have a happening social life because you are young newlyweds. My boss asked me if I had big plans too, and when I said no, he actually said that was a good thing! That's right! I work too damn hard and want to relaaaaax. It feels like we are new to town, and that's how we live, pretty much. It is HARD to meet people if you don't already know people!

We were out of the store before 9:30, then to the library to drop off a book, then to CVS to pick up an RX, then HOME by 10:15. WOOT.

Felt SO good to get up early and just GO GO GO. Makes you feel like the weekend lasts longer. And it's a 3 day weekend, so even better.

Here it is, just after 12:30, and the groceries are away, cleaned out the fridge, the living room and kitchen are picked up, and I've washed 4 loads of laundry. Time to go get them out of the dryers. That's the one good thing about using a laundry room--if no one's there, I can do ALLLL the laundry in one shot. Heh.

But man, the food costs? All we bought was: produce, meat, chicken, dairy stuff, and a few grocery items (peanuts, peanut butter, chicken broth, salad dressing mix). $129!!!!! Well, the $26 of FLOWERS that my husband wanted me to have didn't help, lol. And neither did the steaks--even though they were on sale. But our receipt said we saved $50, soooo, I guess I won't complain too much. And we did have some coupons and about $9 in bottle/can redemption tickets.

To update y'all on my post from last night about husbands, DH and I talked about my food plans and stuff. He sees me eat more than anyone else, so I asked for his opinions about what I should do. Sometimes I go all out, restrictive to the max and then I cave and binge on what I shouldn't eat. He suggested a more forgiving plan might be better, where I try to be "good" most of the time, but to allow for a few treats now and then.

So, for the rest of May (after Tuesday) and June, I will do my old plan from the dr with some modification. No starches at breakfast, lunch or snacks, and a bit at dinner if it's incorporated into the meal (like a casserole or something). If it's just chicken, veggies and rice, then I won't eat the rice! I plan on doing it very scientifically, and if I don't notice a change happening, then I might have to go balls to the wall and NO carbs AT ALL. Of course, I will be at the gym too.

I've gotta make this work. I can't keep living this way.

Husbands!

My therapist and I had a chat about my eating/weight stuff the other night, and we're working on something, together.

However, I just told DH about this and I know he's skeptical about me succeeding (because I'm never consistent) and I swear, I think he was hurt or put-out or something.

I'm sorry, but this time, it's about ME. Actually, wait, I'm NOT sorry. Don't sulk because I can't eat pasta or rice or whatever. Think of what I CAN eat, that's what I'm doing. And it's not like we ever have JUST rice or JUST pasta for dinner, we always have veggies and a protein. I don't get what his problem was. You'd swear I told him that he wasn't allowed to fish anymore or that Stan Lee died. He actually told me he needed to be alone for a bit.

I'm trying to understand where he's coming from, without making it my problem. I know he loves to cook, and he's been doing a lot of experimentation now that he's home all day. That's great. And I'm sure me saying that I am going back on my doctor's plan (before I have a serious health issue), is like "oh crap, now all of my work is for nothing" and "Ha, lets see how long THIS lasts." But don't get like this.

Yeah, I don't like it either, but it's not JUST for weight loss, it's for health in general, too. I even asked him, "OK so what if I was diabetic for real and had to change things?" He didn't really answer. At least we didn't fight, and it was all very calm...

Ehh, maybe he just needs to be a pouty boy about it for a bit. *shaking my head*